Let me share with you a fact that you may or may not be aware of. When you turn forty, things change, on a fundamentally deep level. Maybe physical, maybe mental. When I turned forty, my whole life changed.
I went back to work, after spending six magical years at home with our little girl, painting and trying to get a handle on raising a bright, inquisitive noticer of life. While I was and am grateful for the job that I went into, it was not painting. Painting was the one thing in life that I have ever loved EVERY SINGLE TIME I sat down to work.
I also became ill. Seriously ill. Multiple tests, frustrating months, visits to ERs and doctors and losing weight and pain and in the end, no real answers. I still don't know what happened, but I do know that I am getting better. Most days now I am very good.
And so, once again I am back here at my website and I wonder if I should try to begin again.
And I wonder, what part will art play in my life from this point forward?
I once saw a picture of a juggler spinning plates on slender poles - he had maybe ten plates going at one time.
I can relate.
At the beginning of the year, I wrote out a plan for what I want to accomplish for this year. Ambitious, but doable, I think. I am now into the third month, and I feel like I have so many things going at once that at any moment a plate may slip and crash. But instead of being a negative feeling, it is somewhat akin to euphoria. There is a wonderful glee when so many of your ideas are slowly coming into being reality.
Working for myself lets me reap the rewards of my efforts. It also, unfortunately, means that in order to get the work done, I have to manage spinning being a mom, a bookkeeper, a painter, a teacher, a wife, a motivator, and countless other plates. So far, I think a few have crashed, but I am still trying.
It is in accepting imperfection that we free ourselves.
What a crazy wonderful last few months it has been. Busy, busy, busy, but in all the right ways. Commission orders have went up, I have become fairly organized and structured about how I go about this business of art, and I feel like life is heading in the right direction. I just wanted to share some of the drawings that I did for clients over Christmas.